New Job Induction and Introduction

I have learned so much this week, it has been a mish mash of paperwork, legalities, vaccinations and meeting new people. On Monday I strolled into the security booth, every now and again checking that my car hadn't moved from it's place in the visitors car park through the booth windows. I was shaking, nerves really giving me an overhaul. I felt sick, anxious, excited and apprehensive. It's been a while since I actually worked in mental health and learning disabilities, and quite a few years since I worked in a secure unit. I signed the visitors book, and attached my visitors pass to my freshly ironed jeans, then stepped out of the other side of the booth, onto the other side of the fencing, the other side of the barrier, and into a new world. I followed the path along some of the newly built units, the whole place eerily silent, the sun beaming down, illuminating the greenery, giving the place a comforting appeal. I shielded my eyes from the sun and gave a nervous glance to the red brick building standing in the centre of the hospital grounds....the remnants of a long forgotten time, a time of pain, of anguish, of screams, confusion, hurt....the only reminder of the long gone "lunatic asylum", the long gone patients hidden from the judging society.

It took me a few moments to realise I'd stopped walking, lost in my thoughts about a time gone by. Of centrifugal treatment, of institutional abuse, of white straitjackets. How things have progressed, how people are becoming more aware of problems, aware of the treatments....more tolerant and accepting. This hospital site is now to aid in rehabilitation and aiding the clients back into society, not hiding them away, locking them away with their demons.

I took a deep breath and carried on to the training room, curiously eyeing the fenced off building to my left....my new unit. Upon reaching the room I spent 9am-5pm learning about legal, professional and moral obligations of working within the NHS, in a secure unit. We learned nothing of the learning disabilities or the mental health issues our client base had, we didn't even broach the subject of our individual units. We were an eclectic mix of staff, some nurses, some doctors, some with care experience, others without, some of us support workers, some of us admin. The day ended with me retracing my steps, glancing at the fenced unit, glancing at the red brick building, handing in my visitors badge. I then sat in my car, breathing deeply, taking in how different that fenced off world appears. I realised my nerves had at some point left, staying behind the barrier. In the silence, with the shadows of the past. Monday to Thursday repeated this, with a lovely little trip to Occupational Health on the Wednesday for the very pleasant nurse to jab me with the Hepatitis B vaccine, the bruise has only just appeared.

Today was different, today we found ourselves inside the fenced unit, inside the fenced hospital grounds. The strong smell of disinfectant reminded me of general hospitals, the walls and floor gleaming white, clinical. I walked alongside my new colleagues, taking in my new surroundings, it was still eerily quiet, but there were over forty clients living there. Perhaps the silence was only eerie because I expected trouble, I expected fighting, I expected verbal abuse. The lighting was bright, the hallway seemed longer and wider, my supervisors voice echoed as she explained her role. I was introduced to a handful of my new client base, some were incredibly friendly, others very cautious, even suspicious of me. I smiled, used my best "I'm not bricking it" voice, introduced myself and listened as they talked. I observed the panic alarms the staff were wearing, every so often they bleeped, the unnerved me. I suppose until I need one, I'll be cautious of them. It was a fleeting visit, a taster almost. My two new colleagues walked me back to reception, locking each door behind us. I was left at reception again, head buzzing. So much to take in, so much to understand....so much silence.

I'm sat here now wondering what the next few weeks will entail, what will happen next.